First, to update all my friends and fellow bloggers, Jeremy is on the road to being treated for depression. If you have been following my blog, you are aware that depression runs in his family, on his biological fathers side. His biological father committed suicide when Jeremy was 2 years old. His father lived with untreated depression.
These past few days have been some of the toughest of my life. No mom wants to watch their child go through this pain. A pain that cannot be understood by a person who does not suffer from "Clinical Depression."
The memories of the day my first husband committed suicide were brought to the surface. The pain I felt for my kids the day their father chose to leave them. The pain of knowing that the battle his father fought is one that Jeremy may be fighting the rest of his life.
Knowing the days when Jeremy laughs and jokes and smiles are some of the happiest days.
Joshua, Jeremy's older brother and my eldest son, was six when his father take took his life. After Tuesday night, Joshua took on the role of Jeremy's protector. He has always protected Jeremy as a big brother would, but now....it is as if his mission is to make sure Jeremy is better. How proud can I be of him? I do not think words can explain!!
Biggy B is doing so well dealing with all of this. He does not understand "Clinical Depression" but, he has always been the boys dad and loves them so much. I know that he will do anything and everything to protect them and I know it is killing him inside to watch this happen.
I know this may be pretty in depth for some of you, but I have always been a pretty open person. One way for me to cope is to write. (Jeremy gets that from me)
Our support system is tremendous.
I want to thank you all for your comments, your support and your emails. I know that we will get through this.