First, to update all my friends and fellow bloggers, Jeremy is on the road to being treated for depression. If you have been following my blog, you are aware that depression runs in his family, on his biological fathers side. His biological father committed suicide when Jeremy was 2 years old. His father lived with untreated depression.
These past few days have been some of the toughest of my life. No mom wants to watch their child go through this pain. A pain that cannot be understood by a person who does not suffer from "Clinical Depression."
The memories of the day my first husband committed suicide were brought to the surface. The pain I felt for my kids the day their father chose to leave them. The pain of knowing that the battle his father fought is one that Jeremy may be fighting the rest of his life.
Knowing the days when Jeremy laughs and jokes and smiles are some of the happiest days.
Joshua, Jeremy's older brother and my eldest son, was six when his father take took his life. After Tuesday night, Joshua took on the role of Jeremy's protector. He has always protected Jeremy as a big brother would, but now....it is as if his mission is to make sure Jeremy is better. How proud can I be of him? I do not think words can explain!!
Biggy B is doing so well dealing with all of this. He does not understand "Clinical Depression" but, he has always been the boys dad and loves them so much. I know that he will do anything and everything to protect them and I know it is killing him inside to watch this happen.
I know this may be pretty in depth for some of you, but I have always been a pretty open person. One way for me to cope is to write. (Jeremy gets that from me)
Our support system is tremendous.
I want to thank you all for your comments, your support and your emails. I know that we will get through this.
to bee -- or not to bee
1 year ago
17 comments:
Brenda,
We've been through this with our son when he was in college. I now realize he showed symptoms throughout his life, even in grade school. And I've also dealt with it myself for the last ten years. It runs in my family and my husband's family. I know how scary it is, but the meds they have now are great. And once they find the right treatment, it works. I wish more people would be open about this because it's much more common than you would think! :) And people don't feel so alone when they know so many people have dealt with it in their lives. Take care and hang in there.
Beck
It sounds like you & Jeremy both have a great support system. Take care.
My heart goes out to you guys more than you can imagine. You are one of the lucky families in that you recognize what is happening and can deal with it. Many people do not. I know how hard it is but it sounds like you are making progress. Cheers to Biggy for understanding even though he doesn't.
I do not know you personally, but read your blog and your posts on the Isla boards, but I wanted to offer my thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this rocky journey. I too have family with depression issues, and it can very scary. Hang in there!
Amy in Ohio (labontefan)
Depression is in our family as well, I think more people suffer from this than most people realize.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hugs to all of you :)
My father, a doctor, never got full relief from his depression. But in my 30s, when a psychiatrist said, "You'll have to take medicine the rest of your life," I realized it is a true disease.
Hopefully, Jeremy will view his one-a- day the same way.
Brenda,
Your children are very lucky to have the parents they do, it is going to make this battle so much easier. I too suffer from depression, have had years of treatment and medication. It's a disease that is very difficult for some people to understand the "Chin up little one, don't be down!" comments make things worse, they have no idea that this is a brain chemistry issue, not anything else that you can just snap out of. I hope he has an excellent psychiatrist, he will need the right medication and therapy in order to beat back the devil of depression.
(PS, I've been off the meds for four years and have been doing alright, it doesn't have to be forever though if it is, so be it, better to take a pill everyday than go through life in the pits of depression).
Bless you for being such an open minded and understanding mother, it's going to make things so much better for him. Big hugs to you, it's not easy on the family either, take strength from each other and from friends!
Brenda, I admire you for being able to share a really tough situation. Depression is far more common than many people realize. Jeremy has a very strong and loving support system, that makes a world of difference! My heart is with you and your family amiga!
xoxo
Oh my goodness...my heart hurts for you, chica! Like almost all of your other supporters, depression is a large part of my life.
Thanks for sharing your pain with all of us. You have a very large support system, and I know I speak for everyone who reads this when I tell you that you are in our hearts and in our prayers.
Stay strong, Amiga, and know that we are all pulling for you and Jeremy and your family.
Take good care....
Besos...
Cheri
My heart and prayers go out to you. Thankfully, yours is a loving and supportive family which will make a big difference. I have three sons and know that anything they go through is like going through it myself.
Oh Brenda...I am so sorry for all that you have been going through. My heart goes out to you and your family. Jeremy is so lucky to have such a wonderful brother and mom and dad. With all of your love and support I know you'll hear him laugh again soon. As many here have said, the meds today can help him find himself again.
Please know that you have our unending love and support today and always and I hope you will keep posting about Jeremy. Remember that you are a strong woman with a loving husband and many friends supporting you.
Love and hugs,
Doris & Vince
Brenda -- I will add Jeremy, you, and the rest of your family to my prayer list.
So sorry to hear about Jeremy's depression, but I'm glad that he has a supportive family and is able to get treatment. I know what it is like to have a loved one go through this and it is the worst. --Big hugs from Texas --
I do not know what more I can add other than BIG HUGs to help you get through this.Which you will get from me next month whenI see you on Isla.
When Tara had her first cardiac arrest almost 12 years ago there was some question whether she had tried to commit suicide because meth was found in the lab work so it was classified as a drug overdose. I said no way but my niece who is very close to Tara said not to rule that possibility out. Turns out that was definitely not the case since with Tara’s cardiac arrest last December the cause was determined to be a heart syndrome that had been undetected.
I am so overwhelmed by the support that you have all shown for me. Words cannot even express how much I appreciate all of your prayers, thoughts, support, honesty, emails and comments.
I will be working on an update today, which I am so happy to report is positive!!
We are on the road to happier times. There are sure to be Topes, but will just have to slow down for them and take them carefully.
I am seeing the Jeremy I know now come back to us, even with only being on Medication for a few days.
If you see me on Isla, please introduce yourself....I want to give each and every one of you a hug and tell you thank you!!
Glad to hear the good news! I was hoping to find an update. Please keep us informed.
Hey Trixie - I have been remiss in reading your blogs - thank goodness your son is on meds. If you remember, my husband also took his own life - 30 years ago. The ramifications for my kids for all these years has been a long journey. My husband's issue was not chemical depression but alcoholism and abuse as a child. Any way, it has lasating effects forever for the kids left behind.
You're all in my thoughts and prayers.
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