Thursday, September 4, 2008

Who are your true friends?

When you find out that someone, who you thought was a true best friend, talks bad about you behind your back...what do you do? For over two weeks now I have been struggling with this question.

Someone whom I thought was one of my closest friends decided to dog Biggy B and I behind out backs. When I was told about what was said, at first I was angry!! Then my anger turned to hurt. Hey, I am almost 44 years old. This is suppose to happen when we are teenagers, not when we are adults.

Yesterday, I decided it was time to confront the situation in my own way, which at this time is the best way I know how. I wrote a letter to this friend and confronted them about the whole situation. I gave them the option of calling me to discuss it, or just walk away.

When Biggy B came home from work last night, after talking for a bit, he said to me, "You seem like you are in a better mood." I told him what I had done, and in doing so I have realized who really is my truest and best friend.....Biggy B.

If something isn't right in our friendship/relationship we talk to eachother about it. We share our hurts, happiness and hurtles. He is my husband, my business partner and my best friend.
My mom always had a saying when I was growing up which went like this.
"Friends in your life will come and go, but your family will always be there."


Christine said...

Consider this, it takes two people to hurt you. One to say something mean, and one to tell you about it.

CancunCanuck said...

Aw man, I am sorry that someone hurt you, makes me angry when nice people get the short end of the stick.

I am very glad that you have your best friend with you for life, may you have many years of trust and love and continued communication. Sounds like you picked a keeper!

Theresa in Mèrida said...

Yeah,Husband is my best friend too. I hope it turns out that your friend was NOT talking smack about you, but that the tattletale is a troublemaker. I think it's awesome of you to write the letter,that was really brave.

Beck said...

Brenda, been there with pseudo-friends spreading false gossip about me. I have a husband too who's my best friend, so that makes it all better. Biggie's a keeper!

Islaholic Trixie said...

christine..thanks for visiting my blog. Very true statement, but the person telling me about was not trying to hurt me. They were actually in shock that this friend would talk like this.
cancuncanuck..I think the saying goes, "Nice Guys/Gals Finish Last." But, I don't believe it for a second. They may lose ground in the race sometimes, but that burst of energy brings them ahead across the finish line. Biggy B is a keeper. He's stuck with me!!
Teresa..Isn't it great to be able to wake up next to your best friend every morning. Turned out that the best friend was talking smack...Called me last night and we had a pretty lengthy conversation regarding the whole thing.
beck.."Loose Lips Sink Ships." I'm coming up with all kinds of quotes this morning!! I waited seventeen years for Biggy B, well worth the wait.
Just a little update for everyone. Friend called me after reading my note. At first was a little standoffish, but in the end admitted their wrong and apologized. I accepted the apology, but not before I let them know exactly how I felt. We'll see what happens, but I'm not putting my friendship out on my sleeve real fast. Enough now. Have to get my next blog ready!! Thanks for the support from you all, my blogger friends.

Jamqueen said...

Glad you were able to talk to your " friend" & hopefully work thru whatever was going on. Close friends are hard to find, hope you can work thru it( if you want to)

Steve Cotton said...

Brenda -- May I try a different tack? I know that I am not perfect in my friendship with other people. We all fail now and then. I think the letter was a great first step, and I hope your friend calls. There is always adequate grace in every friendship to forgive mistakes.